In the last month my husband and I have been busy. Very busy. Not always positive busy, but we have worked very hard to improve our lives. We have relocated from the big smoke to a small country town, so we can give our boys the kind of upbringing we had.
Not only have we relocated ours and the boys home, but we have also opened a new office for our business. In the middle of this move, we had a 2 week holiday which we paid for in January, way before we decided to undertake these life improving changes.
The reasoning behind the timing was to relocate before the last week the schools take enrollments for next year, we didn't want to miss the cut-off to the local school.
In a nutshell, we had too much to organise and two children that still expected us to run a livable home with heaps of play, cuddles and good food.
Stressed parents are not good parents.
So a little more than 28 days ago, I joined the "28 day scream-free parenting challenge" which is run by a very wise lady named Jackie Hall. The challenge is to stop screaming at your kids in 28 days. Jackie helps out by sending motivating and informative emails every day, this is what I took away:
- figure out why I loose my temper and how to keep cool,
- understand and accept why my children might not always do as I ask them,
- work towards minimizing the stress in my life.
Well, the last point is the essence of what we have been working on. Small town living will not only give the boys a great upbringing, but costs of living are a lot lower, and life is much slower - in other words, we will be happier and more harmonic all around. Fingers crossed that it works for us!
So, why do I loose my temper? And why can't my children do as I ask them? Herein lies the challenge, which I have found is still very much present after the 28 days.
Jackie says to remember that children learn and grow through being curious, and sometimes that curiosity makes them wonder what will happen if: I say no to mamma regardless of what she wants, try the naughty thing one more time and see what happens, try almost the same thing again, etc.
Okey, I can accept that the children are learning through trial and error and that there is a reason to the constant testing.
Then we have the last cincher, my temper - I loose it. I have to admit. I have gotten a lot better the last 28 days at keeping hold of it, but it still runs away with me, regardless of the many tricks I have developed the last few weeks:
I turn away from my offending child and count to 10, I breath deeply in and out and try to imagine I'm on a beach in Thailand (this is really hard if someone is screaming at you), I go into the adjoining room and sit down and wait for the anger to pass, I even jump up and down whilst inwardly shouting at myself! (this still gives you away to the rest of the family and can scare young children if they are not prepared for their mother to start flying up and down, so I don't recommend it!)
Today has been a reasonable day, I only lost it twice. Both times in the supermarket. First when their erratic trolley driving crashed into an unsuspecting shopper, and second time when they continued to drive like two blind pensioners and took out another innocent bystander. " I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TO TELL YOU, BE CAREFUL!!!"
Maybe the appropriate name for my challenge is the 28 year challenge! I'll stop screaming when they've grown up and moved out!
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